Healing from Abandonment
So, a work colleague I consider a close friend told me she was going on vacation since she had worked through Christmas. Did my heart not crack? I instantly felt a rush of emotion; literal tears and I may have reacted in a rather immature way...maybe even threw a semi-tantrum...SEMI 😇. Before she left, she sat me down and told me that she had noticed my behavior before, but always thought it was an act. Truth be told, when she pointed it out, I recognized the little girl inside me—the one who felt left behind when her parents went on business trips for a week or more. The same girl who hated weekends at home while her parents were at church, officiating weddings, conducting funerals, or preaching somewhere. That same girl now gets a sinking feeling when the Christmas holidays come around, already counting down the days till I have to leave.
As a growing adult, I realize I still carry the weight of past abandonment—whether from a parent, a friend, or a significant other. These wounds, particularly those from childhood, shape how we view ourselves and others for years to come. And now, I find myself asking: How do I reconcile all of this with who I am in Christ?
I’m reminded of Psalm 34:18, which says:
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
—Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
Through His Word, God invites us to bring our struggles and pain to Him. But this means admitting that there is still pain—real, lingering pain. It's as if God, who already knows everything, wants us to acknowledge the hurt we've buried—the feelings of neglect, the emotional scars. By recognizing this pain together, God helps us reframe the narrative. In Christ, we are chosen, loved, and deeply valued (Ephesians 1:4). The actions of others do not define us—what God says about us does. He calls us His beloved, and nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:39).
Can I be honest, though? I don’t like revisiting what hurts. I don’t like that healing takes time because some wounds run deeper than I care to admit. And let’s not even talk about the need to forgive those who’ve hurt me—YOH. But this is why the Lord stays near during these times. He’s there to speak His truth into the places where we’re broken. God is in the business of restoring broken hearts and setting captives free. Some wounds, especially from childhood, need extra care because they’re tied to deep emotional scars. Healing isn’t always quick or neat—it’s a process. A journey I must trust God with, knowing He’s working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28). He is faithful to bring beauty from the ashes of my past.
God loves us deeper than our scars. He's got you Sis 👑.